"Therefore take heed to
your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his
youth." -Malachi 2:15. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" -Ephesians 5:25
Your wife has every right to
live under your roof without any fear of what you may do to hurt her. Cool it!
Stand down! Back off! Relax!
No man should ever mentally or
physically abuse his wife. Far more husbands are guilty of mental abuse than
physical abuse, but words can at times lead to actions. No man in his right
mind would ever want to hurt his wife, but anger is a relentless emotion that
grips some men like cancer. No matter how hard some men try to control their
tempers, they just can't seem to get control of it. Such men oftentimes end up
in court before judges, others in prison. It's not a trifle matter.
Life can be frustrating at
times. So what! Don't risk losing your marriage over stupid little things like
a loaf of bread being left unwrapped. You'd be surprised how many husbands have
snapped and gone to prison over some stupid little trifle thing the wife did.
Why? Because the emotions, stress, and angry feelings often build up over the
years.
The wise husband let's go...he
decides that he's not going to complain about such things anymore. You'd be
better off letting go of all the little things that bother you, than losing
your wife when she goes out the door for months. Try to eliminate potential
arguments. Let your wife do things her way. Don't pressure your wife to do her
duties if it's already been years and she just won't do it. Of course, some
things you'll need to help her with or make mention of, but don't complain
about everything. It's very easy for husbands (especially Christian husbands
who generally have more submissive wives) to be abusive.
If you have a submissive wife,
then love and appreciate her before you drive her into a state of clinical
depression. Give her room to make mistakes. Your wife is human and does have a
right to have faults. She has a right to have problem areas in her character,
just like you do. So often, husbands expect their wives to be perfect, but
they're not. We must allow our wives some understanding and sanctuary for their
faults. If you're a control freak or a bully, then you will end up alone or
divorced one day.
People change. I've known
married couples to get divorced that I never imagined would have divorced. This
is why it's even more important for you to respect
your wives. It's all about respect. Your wife may have put up with you for
the last years, and then one day you’re receiving a summons from the local
sheriff to appear in court for a divorce. Don't think your wife would ever
divorce you? Anyone will do anything under the right circumstances. Believe me,
time changes people. Christianity is NOT measured in months or even years, but
in decades
I knew a man who told his wife
that he loved her every morning, but would blow up at her nearly every day when
he was about to go to work. He hated his work, but had a good paying career. He
was pressured to leave for work and frustrated that he had to be there, so
anything his wife did to aggravate him set him off in rage. Then he'd call her
from work to see if she was still there at home (or if she had left him). What a
way to live huh? The husband eventually realized that leaving for work 30
minutes early every day took much of that pressure off of his shoulders. He
would read or grab a soda. You see, there's ways around problems.
If your wife can't keep up with
the house, then pay your kids to clean it. It doesn't have to be a lot of
money, but it's better than fighting with the wife. Whatever her problem area
is, help her.
The bottom line is that God
hates spousal abuse. If your wife doesn't get out much, then you watch the kids
for a while and let her get out. I knew a woman who spent so much time at home
with the children that she lost her motor skills (her ability to talk and
converse with other adults). She became as a little child herself and was a
nervous wreck around her husband. He was busy working and burning the candle at
both ends going to school, he had no idea what was happening to his wife. Years
later, their marriage was on the rocks with serious problems. The wife ended up
seeing multiple psychiatrists for sedatives and help
Men, you are responsible for
your wife's well-being. She needs to get out of the house every day for a few
hours (and a couple days a week for several hours). Anyone would go nuts being
stuck in a house all the time. Learn to analyze the situation and come up with
practical solutions. EVERY marriage can eliminate many of its problems by
implementing practical solutions. It's up to the husband to think up the
solutions.
There is no reason to argue and
fight. Every argument should be followed in the days to come be an analysis of
what caused the argument and how to prevent it from happening again. If you are
being abusive towards your wife, it's because you either don't love her or
you're stressed out. If you're stressed out, some of the tips on this page
should help you a lot. If you don't love her, then get right with God and start
loving her at least as a person for whom Jesus Christ died for. She has a right
to be treated with respect. Remember, anyone can live with anybody if they can
learn to be a nobody.
"Husbands, love your
wives, and be not bitter against them." -Colossians 3:19